Saturday, April 25, 2009

Is It All Worth It?

So here I am all alone in a small country town on a rainy weekend with a sore throat, a headache, a very active, pessimistic imagination and a 7 month old puppy who decided it would be a good idea to chew through my AUD120 laptop charger. Super start to the weekend, no?

I'm tired of having to do everything myself. Tired of being a single mom to my dog. Tired of having to be a responsible adult. Tired of having to go to work even though I'm feeling so unwell I can hardly get out of bed. In short, tired of being grown up. And since Milton is such a handsome little boy I'm sure some family out there somewhere would be more than happy to welcome him into their home, where there will be numerous people to take care of him - not just Me, Myself and I.

"We told you so!" Many people are probably crowing at me right now. "We told you a dog was nothing but a burden and you couldn't handle it, didn't we? Refused to listen to us, didn't you? Well, it's all your doing, Dental Girl. *smirk*"

The only thing stopping me from selling him right here and right now is the fear that one day my situation will change and I will have more time and energy for a dog and realize he's gone. And I'll regret not persevering just that little bit more. Even now, just thinking about the possibility of it is already making me cry.

So Milton gets to stay. Again.

Many times I've been awake at night wondering what the hell am I even doing here.

"Making a living," I tell myself firmly in the dark. "Because that's what adults do, Dental Girl. They do what they don't want to do, be where they don't want to be and pay bills. So get over yourself and go to sleep because tomorrow you have patients to see, dentures to fit and teeth to extract."

Story of my current life.


  1. trust me when i say that everybody goes thru that phase. for me it was went all my best friends left for overseas leaving me here alone. then the 2nd time was when i started working. none of my best friends really wanted to hear about my work becoz try as they might they can't relate to it yet. i thank God everyday that i have great colleagues who are with me thru all these. life can only get better if it is terrible now. try to think positively. ;p

  2. awww... sweetie, stay strong! its not easy looking after a puppy when you're first starting out a job, so props to you for persevering and you've done quite well.


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